I grew up in a small European city and sex was kind of taboo there. Everything closeted... everything secret. Maybe some people even wanted to change it but hard to do it alone, so strange philosophy like “”I can’’t”, and then you shouldn’t either” comes into play. It’s suffocating honestly, left and never came back.
If you were to believe the law, it is frowned upon in many places. So do as you want, seek out those consenting adults you are attracted to where ever you may be, act like a gentleman and have fun. Worrying about what others think of how you derive pleasure, is a waste of energy and time.
Harder to achieve anonymity in a small town; easy in a big city.
If I see a lady in the suburb where I live I worry that someone I know might notice me; its even possible that my wife could be driving by when I visit some lady's apartment.
Truth is even in Mississauga I worry someone on my wife's side of the family might recognize me.
I went to go see a lady in Camrose 6 years ago. She picked a small house in full view of the the Main Street in the city. I had to jump the fence in the alley to avoid being seen. I tore my pants and hurt my ankle. A suit and dress shoes are not the best fence jumping gear.