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Screwed by a Lawyer?

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  • Screwed by a Lawyer?

    The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

    'May I help you sir?' she asked.

    'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.

    'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else', said the madam.

    'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.

    Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.

    Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

    After an hour, the man calmly left.

    The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

    Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was still $5000.

    Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.. After an hour, he left.

    The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

    After their session, Valerie said to the man, 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'
    The man replied, ' New Brunswick .'
    'Really', she said. 'I have family in ' New Brunswick .'

    'I know.' the man said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney. Before she passed, she asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance. '

  • #2
    Re: Screwed by a Lawyer?

    .

    Why did New Jersey end up with the toxic waste sites and California got all the lawyers ?

    New Jersey had first pick !
    .

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    • #3
      Re: Screwed by a Lawyer?

      The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."

      The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.

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      • #4
        Re: Screwed by a Lawyer?

        Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
        A tick falls off of you when you die.

        Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
        A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

        Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
        A: Retired.

        Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
        A: Six. One to change the bulb and five to write the environmental impact statement.

        Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
        A: His lips are moving.

        Q: Why are lawyers so good at racketball?
        A: Because they stoop so low.

        Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
        A: Senator.

        Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
        A: "Your honor."

        Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
        A: Professional courtesy.

        Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
        A: A hooker will stop screwing you after you are dead.

        Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
        A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

        Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
        A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

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        • #5
          Re: Screwed by a Lawyer?

          Most attorneys practice the law because it gives then a grand and glorious feeling.

          You give them a grand and they feel glorious.

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