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Answering machine at a mental hospital.

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  • Answering machine at a mental hospital.

    “Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline”

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep o before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

    If you are blonde don’t press any buttons, you’ll just screw it up.

  • #2
    Re: Answering machine at a mental hospital.

    ^ that shit was funny




    Roses are red


    violets are blue


    I'm a schizophrenic and so am I
    sigpic

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Answering machine at a mental hospital.

      Originally posted by RayFinkel


      I'm a schizophrenic and so am I
      Talking about your Bo again

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Answering machine at a mental hospital.

        That was funny BT.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Answering machine at a mental hospital.

          Very funny

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Beenthere123 View Post
            “Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline”

            If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

            If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

            If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

            If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

            If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

            If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

            If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.

            If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

            If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

            If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.

            If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

            If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep o before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

            If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

            If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

            If you are blonde don’t press any buttons, you’ll just screw it up.
            LOL, sorry guys going through old threads and this is hilarious.

            Comment


            • #7
              I see you call Mirage a lot too BT123!

              Comment


              • #8
                If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by nostradamus View Post
                  i see you call mirage a lot too bt123!

                  now that"s funny

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by HOF View Post
                    now that"s funny
                    Hof you pressing 3, 4, 5 and six

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.


                      Hello Hello

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Trump View Post
                        If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.


                        Hello Hello

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by BEER View Post
                          Hof you pressing 3, 4, 5 and six

                          It's been almost 2 weeks since I've hobbied so I have:

                          If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

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