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DISTRAUGHT AND ALONE

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  • DISTRAUGHT AND ALONE

    Life takes strange turns and I've been dealt a devastating twist of malice. This past Friday I came home to find an empty home. The woman who I believed to be my soulmate has left me. I can't believe what possessed Ida to throw away a life we've built together. Everything I've done has been for Ida and her happiness. I haven't returned to work because I can't think straight and why I'm posting this here is beyond me but I need to vent or I'll will become hysterical. Her reasons are irrational and I'm convinced there must be another man but I can't be sure. If anyone else has dealt with this pain please let me know how you dealt with it because even sitting in my home of years is very upsetting right now. As I look around all I see are reminders of a pass and I don't see a very bright future.
    I am not a troll, warlock or a judgmental person but I am also not a stone you may kick down the beaten path!

  • #2
    Originally posted by Baz View Post
    Life takes strange turns and I've been dealt a devastating twist of malice. This past Friday I came home to find an empty home. The woman who I believed to be my soulmate has left me. I can't believe what possessed Ida to throw away a life we've built together. Everything I've done has been for Ida and her happiness. I haven't returned to work because I can't think straight and why I'm posting this here is beyond me but I need to vent or I'll will become hysterical. Her reasons are irrational and I'm convinced there must be another man but I can't be sure. If anyone else has dealt with this pain please let me know how you dealt with it because even sitting in my home of years is very upsetting right now. As I look around all I see are reminders of a pass and I don't see a very bright future.
    Women are takers. Don't feel that you are alone. Every man has been taken by a woman at some point in their lives. Women take and take and then they move on to their next victim. Happened to my father too.

    Women have no shame.

    Comment


    • #3
      Baz, there is a bright side!


      HOBBY TIL YOU DROP my bible thumping friend!

      Seriously the best way to forget about her is to get laid by beautiful women!
      I AM THE OWNER OF THE BUMPER THREAD, THE BIG BOSS, THE BIG CHEESE and THE SMERF'S GOD! BOW DOWN BLUE BOY!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by MisterAsianLover View Post
        Women are takers. Don't feel that you are alone. Every man has been taken by a woman at some point in their lives. Women take and take and then they move on to their next victim. Happened to my father too.

        Women have no shame.
        Ida has a very good career and financially has always been an equal. What we've built we've done together but something emotionally has changed and I don't understand why?
        I am not a troll, warlock or a judgmental person but I am also not a stone you may kick down the beaten path!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Madman View Post
          Baz, there is a bright side!


          HOBBY TIL YOU DROP my bible thumping friend!

          Seriously the best way to forget about her is to get laid by beautiful women!
          At the present time I cannot see myself with another woman either paid for or the old fashion way.
          I am not a troll, warlock or a judgmental person but I am also not a stone you may kick down the beaten path!

          Comment


          • #6
            So sorry to hear that Baz.

            I hope you've got some close friends or family you can turn to for support.

            Many of us have been through similar circumstances and can understand what you're going through.

            Comment


            • #7
              Sorry to hear that Baz..................


              I would like to say the pain passes but it really does not.
              What does change is you......You grow from the pain.
              And learn that you can not suffer your way through life.

              As you have already guess you are not alone in this pain.
              Once you sit back and take stock of yourself and replay your life with Ida.
              You will see hints and at first obsess on them but do not do that.
              Accept the fact that for today life is different and embrace the pain.
              Because it will help you grow further in your love for others.

              Do not listen to those who would trash you or her and accept you need not understand life's plan for you.
              It will unfold in its own time.
              We call it a BOOM because of the noise it makes as it hits your head
              FAIR WINDS

              MM is more of a BURDON than a PET

              Providing Vegans and Vegetarians a safe haven to enjoy Bacon for decades

              Comment


              • #8
                First off, I am truly sorry to hear this has happened. It's no consolation, but many of us have been there. The pain will pass, although it does take time.

                As for motives for her action, perhaps jumping to conclusions is the worst thing you could do. Assuming there is someone else may cause you more pain than staying unsure. Women don't leave for another man every time, but sometimes because they have grown tired of the situation and need a break.

                My best advice is to continue with your life, knowing there will be grief in it for a while, but accepting that as part of the process. Running out to see someone else doesn't help, but in fact makes it worse. And don't be surprised if you hear from Ida in the near future: rash decisions are often good for a short while, but then there's remorse and regret. Live your days, be busy, accept the pain and grief, and recognize time will heal all wounds.
                Over what hill? Where? When?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Baz View Post
                  Ida has a very good career and financially has always been an equal. What we've built we've done together but something emotionally has changed and I don't understand why?
                  Men are leaders. Men understand sacrifice and comittment.

                  Women only understand themselves. A woman's first thought is of herself.

                  A woman will always leave if she thinks she can 'do better' in the near future - called 'trading up'. Men will stay out of a sense of loyalty.

                  When I said takers, I don't just mean financially. They take in every way possible.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by MisterAsianLover View Post
                    Men are leaders. Men understand sacrifice and comittment.

                    Women only understand themselves. A woman's first thought is of herself.

                    A woman will always leave if she thinks she can 'do better' in the near future - called 'trading up'. Men will stay out of a sense of loyalty.

                    When I said takers, I don't just mean financially. They take in every way possible.
                    Spoken like a true chauvinist.
                    Over what hill? Where? When?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by papasmerf View Post
                      Sorry to hear that Baz..................


                      I would like to say the pain passes but it really does not.
                      What does change is you......You grow from the pain.
                      And learn that you can not suffer your way through life.

                      As you have already guess you are not alone in this pain.
                      Once you sit back and take stock of yourself and replay your life with Ida.
                      You will see hints and at first obsess on them but do not do that.
                      Accept the fact that for today life is different and embrace the pain.
                      Because it will help you grow further in your love for others.

                      Do not listen to those who would trash you or her and accept you need not understand life's plan for you.
                      It will unfold in its own time.
                      Life has no plan. Do you believe Freddy Grays' life plan was to beaten to death by the cops?

                      Please tell me you arent one of those religious goofs.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thank you Papa, Oldguyzer and **************** for your kind words and good advice. MisterAsianLover, as angry and disappointed I am in Ida I don't believe she has done this because she's a taker, I really don't. I've known my soulmate for many years and she's never been a taker. I do believe my not being able to give her a child has a lot to do with it. I've offered the adoption route but this wasn't an option for Ida. Perhaps she has found a man who can give her a child, I don't know right now.
                        I am not a troll, warlock or a judgmental person but I am also not a stone you may kick down the beaten path!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Baz View Post
                          Thank you Papa, Oldguyzer and **************** for your kind words and good advice. MisterAsianLover, as angry and disappointed I am in Ida I don't believe she has done this because she's a taker, I really don't. I've known my soulmate for many years and she's never been a taker. I do believe my not being able to give her a child has a lot to do with it. I've offered the adoption route but this wasn't an option for Ida. Perhaps she has found a man who can give her a child, I don't know right now.
                          Her loss wen it comes to adoption.

                          Eventually you and she will talk and you will find out why she left........However do not expect that for years.
                          The very nature of divorce tends to be nasty. As such much is said in haste.
                          We call it a BOOM because of the noise it makes as it hits your head
                          FAIR WINDS

                          MM is more of a BURDON than a PET

                          Providing Vegans and Vegetarians a safe haven to enjoy Bacon for decades

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Baz View Post
                            Thank you Papa, Oldguyzer and **************** for your kind words and good advice. MisterAsianLover, as angry and disappointed I am in Ida I don't believe she has done this because she's a taker, I really don't. I've known my soulmate for many years and she's never been a taker. I do believe my not being able to give her a child has a lot to do with it. I've offered the adoption route but this wasn't an option for Ida. Perhaps she has found a man who can give her a child, I don't know right now.
                            Give her a bit of time, Baz, and don't blame yourself. Whether this has to do with children or not you likely won't know until she talks to you...and she will. Be patient.

                            FWIW adoption is a great thing; two of my brothers and one sister are adopted. I'm a huge supporter of the process.
                            Over what hill? Where? When?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              She isn't your soulmate if she left you. She is only her own soulmate.

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